You know that feeling at the end of the school year, where you have gotten in the groove with your students? You know who they are, what they need, what they love, what struggles they have? You’ve put in so much time and effort to connect with your students, and then all of a sudden, the year is over. That blessed summer break comes and goes all too quickly, and then all of a sudden you are back in the classroom with 25 new faces looking up at you in anticipation of what the year will bring. You get to start to build relationships with students all over again.

Building relationships with students is vital. For some students, it can come really naturally. For others, you may feel that you were working the entire year so that the student knows and understands that there is somebody who cares about them. I have found that the first couple of weeks are crucial for building solid relationships that can last throughout the year. There are various activities that I like to do with my students to help them get to know me, and that helps me get to know them.
Here are five things that I have done to build relationships with students:
1. Do a “brown bag” activity
This is always a fun one to do. On the first day of school, I bring a brown bag with 5 to 6 items that I feel represent me. As I pull each item out, I asked my students to make an inference about what that object says about me. For example, I love to play the piano. So one of the items that go into my brown bag is a small piano ornament that I got for Christmas. From this, my students are able to make inferences such as maybe she plays the piano. Or maybe she loves Christmas. Or maybe, it’s both.
After I’ve modeled the brown bag activity for my students, I sent them home with their own brown bags. They bring them back the next day filled with 5-6 items that represent them. Over the next couple of days, my students will take turns sharing out what they brought and why. This may feel like a major show and tell at the beginning of the year, but I promise that from this activity, you will gain so much insight into who your students are and what they like.
2. Try out this “One Thing” activity
Another thing that I think is really important to building relationships in the classroom is where the students really get to know each other. It is a fairly simple activity, but it yields powerful results. In this activity, I give them a bunch of sentence starters for them to complete. They are:
- One thing I love is…
- One thing that makes me sad is…
- One thing that makes me laugh is…
- One thing I want to be better at is…
- One thing that makes me upset is…
- One thing I’m afraid of is…
I print out each sentence starter on a separate piece of paper, and then I put them around my room. At each sentence starter, there are pieces of paper where students can write down their responses. I tell my students to NOT write their names on the paper because I want them to feel like they can be honest in their answers.
Over the next few days, I share out their answers anonymously. I’ve gotten some silly answers to these, but I’ve also received some serious answers too, such as “One thing that makes me angry is when my parents fight.” Or, “One thing that makes me sad is when I lost my turtle.” By doing this activity, my students see that they aren’t the only ones who experience strong emotions when something happens to them.
You can easily do this activity on your own, but if you want, I have all the sentence starters already typed up for you ready to go. All you need to do is print them off, put them up around your room, and your students will be ready to do this activity. I also have a digital version on a Google Form for you as well if that works better for you. Click here to check it out!
3. Become Pen Pals with Your Students
One of my favorite things to do with my students is to write letters back and forth with them. Each week I have my students write me a letter. This letter often isn’t very long, but it gives me a chance to communicate in a different way with my students. When I first introduced the letter to them at the beginning of the year, they seemed a little apprehensive. However, as the weeks went on my students really loves getting to write to me.
The thing about this activity though, is that you have to be willing to write back. You don’t have to write very much, but by creating that dialogue through writing with your students, you will help them in multiple ways.
- They will become better writers.
- You will get to know what they like.
- They get to ask you questions, helping them to know who you are.
- Ultimately this helps to build a relationship with them.
I’ve had some students that have been extremely shy, and her struggle to talk to me about anything. But when they get a chance to write things down, they feel like they are able to express themselves. This is a chance for students to tell me things that they might not want other people to hear.
Sometimes my students can’t think of anything to write, so I always give them sentence starters. Some of the ideas I give them are:
- One thing I like to do at recess is…
- Some of my friends are…
- What is your favorite…?
- One thing I wish I could do better is…
I change up the sentence starters from week to week depending on whatever it is we are working on. If you want to do this with your students, I have a free weekly letter packet that you can sign up for here. I’ll send it straight to your email, so it doesn’t get lost.
4. Take an Extra Recess to Play with Your Students
The beginning of the year is a great time to take an extra recess or two. Students are still trying to adjust to being back in school after being at home the whole summer. I love taking my kids outside. The first thing I do is watch and observe who plays with who. I watch to see who has lots of friends, and who doesn’t seem to have very many friends. Even though I’m not often out at recess with my students, I take this time at the beginning of the year to make those observations about my students.
I also like to join in with my students. To do this, I like to have some type of game in mind that we can all play together as a class. Whether it’s something like playing horse on the basketball court or playing some sort of tag, this is a fun way for students to know that you enjoy having fun too.
5. Start using student interests in class right at the beginning of the year.
Another thing you can do to build relationships is to take note of students' interests and start talking about them. A few years ago, I had a student that I could tell, really struggled with math. On the first day of school, I could see him starting to shut down when we did a small math problem from the year before. I knew that math was going to be a difficult subject for him. So I did whatever I could to get him more interested in math. I noticed one day that he was wearing A Stranger Things T-shirt. I asked him if he like Stranger Things, and he told me that he loved it!
Well, what do you know? The next day one of our math problems was about a guy named Steve who worked at an ice cream shop. If you’ve watched season 3 of Stranger Things, you know what I’m talking about. My student was thrilled to see something he loved being used in math. And you know what, he paid more attention that day. Does that mean he became a math genius? No. He still struggled throughout the year. But I was able to capture his attention, and we continued to go on to have several more conversations about Stranger Things throughout the year.
Building relationships takes time, but it is the foundation of what we do as teachers. It goes back to that old saying that “Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.”
I have seen this in my career. There have been times when I haven’t been able to build relationships with students like I should have. And it was hard. Since then, taking the time to foster those relationships with students has been critical to me. Obviously, these are not the only ways to build relationships with students. These are just some ideas that I love to use in my classroom.
What are some ways that you build relationships with your students? Leave a comment below.
Happy teaching!